NIGHT OFF

Friday NIGHT  I left the house (yes you heard right) i left the house kid free !!!!!!!!

I went to dinner brassa bar and grill it was YUMMMMMY :)
I even Had ADULT CONVO with two other mums ,
I got to eat a meal slowly , have a drink and  i got to enjoy every mouthwatering bite , IT was truly divine

Then we went to the movies and watched the movie sisters it was pretty funny
i haven't laughed so hard in since FOREVER (kinda lame and sad i know )

so i hope i can go out again soon i love being at home with my baby But theres only so much wiggles and lalaas big loud band you can sing and dance to  and only so many gluten free snacks your little one can shove in your mouth and try to feed you hahahahahahahah
YUP mum life

Well I'm outta here
insaneomumma xxxxxx

Things i have learnt 
things are forever changing 
# This week my baby girl started Highschool wow where did that time go i miss my cute cheeky lil miss she growing up so fast in the blink of an eye . if i could go back in time No i would not change a thing she was my 2nd baby to grow in my tummy but my first born as my first is in heaven x 
changes 
if i could change anything i think i would have still followed my dreams 
picked up a hobby to learn x

kept in touch with friends from school better (i miss having connections with people that get me that know i wasn't always this Boring or lame )

fought a little harder for things 


Im a mum of 6 not a lot know this
I have two angels in heaven  i hope to one day meet
and my 4 little circus crazy gymnasts \ i really don't know where they got there super crazy flexibility and stuff from  i was fast at running back many moons a go , i played many sports netball, basketball ,jazz ballet ,ballet , karate , soccer , even body boarded in my teen years but i could never really do cartwheels or handstands yet my kids basically walked out of the womb doing these things hahaha ]  madi went thru a stage of kartwheeling instead of walking
zeb is 1 and does flips and ttys to stand on his toy horse like a vaulter , no fear at all he also dances as soon as he hears music he likes , he can twerk we have a tube vid from one day we caught him doing it hahahaha

My hair is colourful  i feel crazy on the inside so i let out my crazy in radiant out there colours  its just me 
i think ill be the granny with punk rock hair hahahaha 

I do not know what the future holds for me or any of my kids most days its just a sink or swim (or float) to keep going my body has breakdowns possibly my endometrioeus but who knows i hate drs i hate needles so some days I'm stuck hiding under pillows with extreme pain or my body has fought the pain so bad it just has no more get up and go 
i worry for the future that if it gets so bad how will i go how can i function x 

any way thats it for now i have a tired lil hub ready for bed and another child having a meltdown kicking of that he will not go to school tomorrow ohhh happy Days not  living with mental illness and disabilities  is so BLA it kinda does suck autism can be a complete AHOLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAve a happy weekend peeps 

Stampede PERTH 2013

IM  So SO SO very sore BUT its a full of memories Fun sore xxxxx
I still can not believe i did it i completed 5km stampede in 2 hours xxxxx pretty proud of my self pretty pround of my self and i had great team mates that kept me going even when i held them up cause i was NOT as super fit as them xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

life gives you lemons and Judgment what will you do

Life can be full of lemons ,
life can be full of tears from the sourness those lemons leave ,
 life is full of judgement
you are judged by other mothers
people passing by
even People in your church
people at sport
AND guess what Even By your self 1
I judge my self daily I'm most likely the worst judge of my self as the self doubt eats away at me
am i doing right by my kids
have i made correct choices '
why are my kids like this did i really do wrong by having them as i have created them and they are soooooooooo messed up :(
i have heard from so many around me even family that i don't create NORMAL children and they hope i don't have anymore

yup way to build me up NOT
i suffer depresion and yes my genes created my children to be different but How about instead of knocking me down and almost holding that gun to my head How about build me up help me keep fighting i have made it this far as i refuse to just give up but some days i really don't want to keep going as i feel alone ,JUDGED ,left to just die in the field .........................

this is how i feel