I sadly have pushed away most connections to have friends or make new friends ....
Yes i know stupid it sounds its not that i don't want to be sociable .......
Its because Not everyone can handle seeing the other side of my children ,I get sick of stares ,i get sick of remarks of how rude or naughty or uncontrollable my child is or how they must need a good smack ,I get sick of people making comment's also behind my back thinking I'm a bad mum ...
YES i am far from being the perfect mum i LOSE it (alot) i scream (often) i cry (most days) BUT i try to make the most of what we have. everything I do is for my baby's .
I have done all the parenting types of behaviour groups...
The thing is when you have a child or children that isn't so to speak (NORMAL ) those techniques they give you just don't cut it.... A normal child would care if you took something they loved of them , or sent them for 5 Min's time out or told them they could not do something like going to a friends party ....
A CHILD like Mine well they just don't care or don't show they care ....
Sadly there is not Much support for mums like me Most of us turn to Internet community for out reach and comfort ,support and help......
I am a mum to a child aged 7 with adhd/Pddnos-autism , epilepsy and a 4 year old that is undiagnosed who has a lot of anger and aggression issues , I also have a 9 year old who struggles to deal with having full on sibling's ..
Mornings and nights i feel like a Nurse measuring out medications ,making sure they are swallowed and not being spat Out or hidden ,Its tiring Bed times take forever and are full of tantrums ,screams , We don't have a normal life ,we cant Just decide oh we are going to the movies or OUT for dinner with or with out the kids , its hard finding some one to babysit ,it takes planning to let the children know what is happening days in advance to avoid FREAK OUT' S . and its super stressful to a Marriage .......
To pay for Play therapys ,medications ,peads Bills and then Normal things like dance class and Gymnastics so our children can strive for some normality's means LONG hours of work ,sacrifice on your own health and well being and appearance ,
I very rarely Buy my self pretty new clothes and if i do its because i saw them mega discounted for like $10 or under shoes i get cheap comfy ready to run after children type shoes , My hair i do make an effort to get this done atleast 2 times a year i usually get some highlights or something nice around November for my birthday and so i don't look so tragic at Christmas , my nails rarely painted or pretty don't even look at my feet hahaha .......I don't buy coffees or go for Lunches or DRINK it just isn't a NEED I rather spend money on my children and helping them reach there life goals ...
Sometimes i feel i have failed I have not really done Much at all with my life before children 'I WORKED hard my job or jobs meant everything at 18 i was working 3 jobs id start at 4;30 am and finish at midnight , i have NO diplomas or fancy certificates behind me I have Hospitality in my blood and no the ins and outs of a cafe and kitchen . I have done Senior First aid and training on using an epi pen, i have 18 years experience with children 9 of those spent with learning and adjusting life to children with allergies and then disability's I'm 29 this year and sometimes i feel worn out like I'm 50ish which is sad BUT its a fact of life ,
I'm lucky to have a strong husband who although I'm sure wants to run in the other direction is determined to stay at our side ,
alot of marriage's do not with stand the test and trials of living life with children with disability's But we are Both determined ...God designed MARRIAGE for Life . and our love with always pull us Thru xxxxxxxxxxx
