Stampede PERTH 2013

IM  So SO SO very sore BUT its a full of memories Fun sore xxxxx
I still can not believe i did it i completed 5km stampede in 2 hours xxxxx pretty proud of my self pretty pround of my self and i had great team mates that kept me going even when i held them up cause i was NOT as super fit as them xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

life gives you lemons and Judgment what will you do

Life can be full of lemons ,
life can be full of tears from the sourness those lemons leave ,
 life is full of judgement
you are judged by other mothers
people passing by
even People in your church
people at sport
AND guess what Even By your self 1
I judge my self daily I'm most likely the worst judge of my self as the self doubt eats away at me
am i doing right by my kids
have i made correct choices '
why are my kids like this did i really do wrong by having them as i have created them and they are soooooooooo messed up :(
i have heard from so many around me even family that i don't create NORMAL children and they hope i don't have anymore

yup way to build me up NOT
i suffer depresion and yes my genes created my children to be different but How about instead of knocking me down and almost holding that gun to my head How about build me up help me keep fighting i have made it this far as i refuse to just give up but some days i really don't want to keep going as i feel alone ,JUDGED ,left to just die in the field .........................

this is how i feel

when you feel lost

When You feel lost
When you feel alone
No one to talk to when your upset ,
No one to wipe away the tears,
No one to hug you and tell you it will all be ok,
no one to hold your hand,
no one to cry with you tears of sadness or happiness
just a pillow and emptyness ,
a dark room
words of Hurt Words of heart break
In a world that is so cruel and nasty and so  judgmentle
where will i turn
where will i end up
how will i keep my feet standing still
keep my body upright
keep my tears locked up
and out of sight
NO ONE TO TURN TO

InsaneoMummy

Well HOWDY all
  Its been a fair while i know ,lots of crazy stuff has happened lots of amazing memories have been made and created :)

WE MOVED IN TO OUR FIRST FAMILY HOME :)   yeeeha im still un packing and yup its been since febuary haahha OOOOPS .........

I AM JUST a full time MUMMA bear NOW NOTHING ELSE just taxi to my kids cook cleaner nurse admin assistent hahahha :)

T HAS DONE GREAT winning comps for RDA horse riding AND euestrian vaulting xxxxxx that girl has no fear xxxxxxxx she also one some pretty ribbons from Gymnastics tooo OMGOSH i have become MUMMA crafty tring to make ribbon boards and stuff to keeep up ..
im soooo many years behind in my scrap booing im thinking of organising a night a week and seeing if any one else wants to scrap book with me...

we are making loads of changes as a family and im proud of who we are becoming and trying to become xxxxxxx\



we have a newfamily member YUP a very overweigh HE is now on a diet and walking two times a day hahahahahha will upload photos soooon .........

MY DREAM AND WANT FOR Another baby still is with me i think it will be for a long time BUT hubby said baby making days are over   i mean i supose he is about to hit 40 and im about to hit being 30 YIKES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are looking at fostering baby and toddlers he likes this idea better so praying all our boxes get ticks and that we might have a baby as soon as december to love and care for untill when ever needed xxxxxxx   im excited about having many babys and lil ones to love and nuture i really do LOVE BABYS ...............

well im off to bake a batch od dairy nut lacose free choc cupcakes for school lunches and prep tomorows Lunches and tonights dinner as it Gymnastics NIGHT so im in and out being TAxi MUMMA :)     have a great week or weeks i promis ill try to start blogging more xxxxxxxxxxxx

juggling to much crazy insane and a side of wacky

People often tell me well if you are tired and worn out stop taking on so much !!!!

THATS easy for them to say ...........
My weeks are crazy and mashed into a spare hour here or there Im a mummy to 3 very specail different children my eldest has a LOT of food alergies dustmites and so on she is having more testing as we kept things fairly good for 9 years and now her body is deciding to reject more foods and other stuff AS a very keen Gymnast who plans on reaching her goals to go to the olympics one day and trains super hard at the gym and at home Her health is super important ..........
child number 2
Well never really slept from birth onwards in nearly 8 and has a range of things    adhd ASD  Epilepsy And food alergies too we are in and out of playtherapy ,OT , PEADS, doctors, socailworkers ,more therapys and so on taiy dreams of also one day Competing in the olypics she says she wants to do specail olympics and normal she is very sporty very strong and very stuborn so i know she can make this happen if thats what she wants ..............
The boy in the family :)
Was such a lovely easy going baby and toddler food alergies YES .....
But not to much then as he got older he stoped talking for a while and as he got older become really agressive and angry at first we thort ohh its just testostrone hormones he will balance out soon :( sadly he was recently after turning 4 diagnosed with ODD we trieled some meads as well as we are on a strick additive free preservative free diet wich helps a lil bit We stoped the meads as it was not LIFE changing wow and are living day by day HE can be very loving and has a huge fan bas of kids that seem to adore him ...... BUT he can snap and scare the crap out of anyone i have had many injurys it sadness me to see him change we never know when its going to happen if someone talks to him wrong or upsets him or he is over tired so on and so on he snaps I worry about the future if we cant get it under control xxxxxxx we also believe he is asd as he is super bright super quirky and other stuff But getting him tested is going to be a long prosess like it took with my eldest ......(even though socail workers and people close to us can see he is on the spectrum xxxx

Any how im a mum a cook cleaner nurse and the list goes on ................................
life is full of Ups and downs nothing can be predicted Organised and catrised to how we like there is NO such thing as a PERFECT FAMILY ,PERFECT LIFE OR perfect Child every one has mistakes ups n downs and things hidden :) I try to put my crazieness out there to help others see that they DO  NOT NEED to pretend they are OK or PERFECT .............IM far from it Im crazy Insane and a touch of mental with a side of wacky BUT i love my children even when i rant .........................

ITS been a while

WOW so its been a while since i blogged ... 
what can i say life is busy and never stops .
so what has been happening we finally got accepted by the cerebral palsy association for social work and to and so on for taiy and they are working with us as a whole family, we get weekly in home visits ,which makes life easy as i drive here there and everywhere all the time and its easier in home kids have there surroundings i can have tea ready to go and bath as soon as appointment over ...................altho life at the moment is mentally draining .....................sometimes i feel so alone like im going crazy ,dont get me wrong i have an amazing hubby that is hard working and as he can for our lil family .........and i love him even more for this BUT dealing with social workers teachers schools doctors and JUST everyday kids stuff really takes its toll I would not change ever ever having my babies But when you have a baby  you really really never ever prepare for different No one ever tells you how scary tiring and hard it is when things dont go By the soo called book .....................i just want to say again i would never change ever having them i refused testing for down syndrome during all 4 Pregnacys as i vowed to love and care and have my babies no matter what ............i guess the hardest thing is no family support i see other familys those with special needs children and those with (normal )children and they just have the most amazing familys if the kids are sick people come watch them while parents are work .......... Holidays weekends away i do get jelouse when i see all this i reach out and get a response of you have a husband      he can help ................... i would Love to go to a 1 day womans conference at my church in 3 weeks  BUT hubby is booked to work 7 days a week for the next few weeks and we have no one to come hang out with our kids for the day so yes im jelouse LIFE and people can suck ..................... i cant wait to be a nanny so i can look after my grandbabys take them for a weekend a day be there as much as i can because children and also parents need extra people in there life ..................sadly both our families sides are not like this But we vow to be different ..............
AM i sorry if i offend or upset anyone with my posting of this blog NO i will not apologise for feeling alone Tired WORN OUT ,and a tad insane and crazy ...........
YES i have a husband.......... who is working like crazy to attempt to give me and the kids a home that is ours that is stable,safe , we barley sleep ,dont get us time together and i most days am trying to keep my head above water so that i do not drown although sometimes i do feel its a never ending nightmare repeating its self gasping for air but sinking down and down into the darkness of the ocean waves trying to swallow me whole 

COOKING sunday

So today i stayed home and spent the day doing some organising then cooking 
On the menu was 
Vegi Curry puffs 


Chocolate dairy free lactose free Brownie


Rice Bubble dairy Gluten free slice 


Oat slice  


Pizza slices 




everything i made can be frozzen so we have lunches, dinner, snacks ,
recipes to follow at page 




VEGIE CURRY PUFFS or sausage rolls MIXTURE 


I used 5 sheets of borgs vegan pastery sheets (i always keep them on hand in frezzer) 
4 large potatoes (i did not peel just cut and steam I use my thermomix and put them in the basket for 18minutes with the 
1 carrot choped in chunks 


I then added curry powder handfull of frozzen corn and peas and onion and a cube of spinach 
and about 2 table spoons of sunflower oil and mixed in the thermomix till combined then i spooned desired amounts onto my pastry that i cut into triangles or what ever shape desired and cookes in a pre heated fan forced over for about 10 minutes on 150 or untill golden then put on bench to cool :) 
you can then wrap or container them to have in lunch boxes or for fast dinners :) 






CHOCOLATE dairy free free Brownies 

Ingredients:

2 eggs

1 cup sugar (i use raw brown sugar) 

125 grams melted butter

1/2 cup Self Raising flour( and i also use wholemeal flour )

5 tablespoons cocoa( i use a gluten dairy nut free organic one )

1 tablespoon vanilla (to help make it nice and moist) (i also have a home made one i use) 

Icing sugar - to sprinkle on top once cool.

How to:

Beat the eggs, butter and sugar together.

Add the cocoa, flour and vanilla and mix again.

Bake in a moderate oven (180 degrees) for about 20-30 minutes.  It should be dense and fudgy.

Sprinkle with icing sugar once cool.

chocolate RICE BUBBLE SLICE 

• 4 cups Rice Bubbles (i use a gluten free Type )
• 4 tablespoons golden syrup
• 1 tablespoon icing sugar
• 2 tablespoons butter (dairy free )
• 1 tablespoon cocoa powder (Organic gluten dairy nut free)
• 3 drops of vanilla essence (home made )
• 100's and 1000's (sprinkles)i  choose to grate dairy free white chocolate on mine less nasty colours the better 

Put syrup, sugar and butter and cocoa powder into a pan, and melt whilst stirring until everything is smooth and combined.
Remove from heat, add vanilla essence and Rice Bubbles.
Mix well and press well into a greased lamington pan. Mark into squares.
Alternatively, divide mixture between 12 patty cases in a muffin tin.
Put in the fridge to set.
Store in an airtight container in the fridge.

OAT SLICE

ngredients

• Melted butter, to grease
• 75g (1/2 cup) self-raising flour
• 75g (1/2 cup) plain flour
• 90g (1 cup) rolled oats added extra oats to also replace the coconut 
• 70g (2/3 cup) desiccated coconut I MADE MINE WITH OUT THIS I ADDED  EXTRA FLOUR INSTEAD 
• 140g (2/3 cup, firmly packed) brown sugar
• 130g (2/3 cup) sultanas
• 95g (1/2 cup) choc bits (i used dairy lactose free choc drops)
• 125g butter, melted, cooled (DAIRY FREE lactose free)
• 1 egg, lightly whisked

I doubled my ingrediants and removed cconut as we have a child that cant eat coconut and neither can i xxxxx

PIZZA SLICE

Method

280 g. water or milk (or combination thereof)
1 Tbsp granulated yeast (instant or regular)
25 g. oil
500 g. flour
2 tsp. salt
corn meal (optional, for spreading on baking sheet)

• Put water/milk, and oil into Thermomix bowl and mix for 30 seconds/37°C/speed 1.
• Add yeast and mix for 5 seconds/speed 3.
• Add flour and salt and mix for 6 seconds/speed 8.
• Knead dough for 2 minutes on interval speed.
• Remove dough, from into a ball, and place into a slightly greased bowl or baking mat to rise till doubled (about 30-60 minutes, depending on yeast type used.) See additional tip about rising below.
• Divide dough in half (for two large pizzas, or into four if making smaller individual sized pizzas) and allow dough to rest for 15 minutes and then form into pizza shape using hands and/or rolling pin before fitting it to the baking pan or pizza stone. (See additional tip about cornmeal below)
• Add toppings of choice and bake in a hot oven at about 220°C (425°F) for about 20 minutes. Timing will depend on toppings used.

1. Preheat oven to 180°C. Brush a 17 x 27cm (base measurement) slab pan with melted butter to lightly grease. Line the base and 2 opposite long sides with non-stick baking paper, allowing it to overhang.
2. Sift the combined flours into a bowl. Add the oats, coconut, sugar, sultanas and choc bits, and stir to combine. Make a well in the centre and add the melted butter and egg. Use a wooden spoon to stir until well combined. Spoon mixture into prepared pan and use the back of a spoon to smooth the surface.
3. Bake in preheated oven for 20 minutes or until golden brown and firm to the touch. Remove from oven and set aside to cool completely. Cut into squares to serve.