(This is OUr world Alone tired emotionally wrecked )

WHAT its only 10;30 sobs it feels like late afternoon Taiy is all over the place today we went early to shops before it got busy to get a few things needed for tomorows lunch but she started freaking out and that just set her off on a spiral :( xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx that and her routine has been broken with school holidays deep breaths i have loads of cooking and cleaning and hubby working all holidays im praying we get respite help before next school holidays AS i REALLY REALLY AM NOT COPING I try to hold things together But i am NOT super woman like i pretend living with children with special needs is mentally, phyisacly ,emotionally draining AND for thos who are always behind mt back SAYING she is NOT THAT bad and does NOT have a disability YOU dont see her UN medicated Or behind closed doors .. YES she can ct and be normal but only for small amouts of time Holding her self in causes her and us more issues behind closed doors Only very few see her and still love her for HER ... MY day is spent going around on a rollercoaster so before you judge me stop and think about that your children and there LIL meltdowns are nothing to the ones we get chuncks ourta walls broken furniture bruises from protecting them from hurting them selves xxx Got that off my chest i feel a tad less tearfull YES I LOVE MY CHILDREN YES THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT CANT HAVE CHILDREN AND i am lucky to have them BUT when they are special It is emotional xxxxxxxxxx

Feeling BLUE Living Life WITH children and disabiltys

Life as a mummy to a child or children with disability's can be lonely,

I sadly have pushed away most connections to have friends or make new friends ....

Yes i know stupid it sounds its not that i don't want to be sociable .......

Its because Not everyone can handle seeing the other side of my children ,I get sick of stares ,i get sick of remarks of how rude or naughty or uncontrollable my child is or how they must need a good smack ,I get sick of people making comment's also behind my back thinking I'm a bad mum ...

YES i am far from being the perfect mum i LOSE it (alot) i scream (often) i cry (most days) BUT i try to make the most of what we have. everything I do is for my baby's .

I have done all the parenting types of behaviour groups...

The thing is when you have a child or children that isn't so to speak (NORMAL ) those techniques they give you just don't cut it.... A normal child would care if you took something they loved of them , or sent them for 5 Min's time out or told them they could not do something like going to a friends party ....

A CHILD like Mine well they just don't care or don't show they care ....

Sadly there is not Much support for mums like me Most of us turn to Internet community for out reach and comfort ,support and help......

I am a mum to a child aged 7 with adhd/Pddnos-autism , epilepsy and a 4 year old that is undiagnosed who has a lot of anger and aggression issues , I also have a 9 year old who struggles to deal with having full on sibling's ..

Mornings and nights i feel like a Nurse measuring out medications ,making sure they are swallowed and not being spat Out or hidden ,Its tiring Bed times take forever and are full of tantrums ,screams , We don't have a normal life ,we cant Just decide oh we are going to the movies or OUT for dinner with or with out the kids , its hard finding some one to babysit ,it takes planning to let the children know what is happening days in advance to avoid FREAK OUT' S . and its super stressful to a Marriage .......

To pay for Play therapys ,medications ,peads Bills and then Normal things like dance class and Gymnastics so our children can strive for some normality's means LONG hours of work ,sacrifice on your own health and well being and appearance ,

I very rarely Buy my self pretty new clothes and if i do its because i saw them mega discounted for like $10 or under shoes i get cheap comfy ready to run after children type shoes , My hair i do make an effort to get this done atleast 2 times a year i usually get some highlights or something nice around November for my birthday and so i don't look so tragic at Christmas , my nails rarely painted or pretty don't even look at my feet hahaha .......I don't buy coffees or go for Lunches or DRINK it just isn't a NEED I rather spend money on my children and helping them reach there life goals ...

Sometimes i feel i have failed I have not really done Much at all with my life before children 'I WORKED hard my job or jobs meant everything at 18 i was working 3 jobs id start at 4;30 am and finish at midnight , i have NO diplomas or fancy certificates behind me I have Hospitality in my blood and no the ins and outs of a cafe and kitchen . I have done Senior First aid and training on using an epi pen, i have 18 years experience with children 9 of those spent with learning and adjusting life to children with allergies and then disability's I'm 29 this year and sometimes i feel worn out like I'm 50ish which is sad BUT its a fact of life ,

I'm lucky to have a strong husband who although I'm sure wants to run in the other direction is determined to stay at our side ,

alot of marriage's do not with stand the test and trials of living life with children with disability's But we are Both determined ...God designed MARRIAGE for Life . and our love with always pull us Thru xxxxxxxxxxx

Starting a New Face book cooking blog

I am always cooking people alays ask me tips and Hints so i decided I will start a blog it is Kelz cooking Blog check me out on facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kelz-Cooking-Blog/374946712519520 I hope it helps and Inspires others :)

deCluttering A constaint Working progress

1. On my search on the internet i have come across a web site with great ideas here are what they say .
2. Declutter for 15 minutes every day. It’s amazing how much you can get through if you just do it in small increments like this.
3. Don’t allow things into the house in the first place. Whether you’ve begun decluttering the living space, or you’ve just completed it, stop bringing in new stuff NOW. Even if that’s ALL you do and don’t start decluttering immediately, if you can only establish one habit at a time, establish the no-more-stuff habit first. This way, when you do get to decluttering the existing stuff, you’ve already stopped making it worse. Think of bailing out a boat with a hole in it. You can bail and bail, but it won’t do anything for the leak.
4. Donate stuff you’re decluttering, so you don’t feel bad about wasting it.
5. Create a Joe’s Goals chart with decluttering on it — either daily, or 3 times a week. Check off the days when you declutter, and you’ll feel a great sense of accomplishment.
6. Start at the corner by the door and move your way around the room, doing the superficial stuff first – surfaces, empy the bin etc. Repeat, but do more the 2nd time around – ie. open the cupboards.
7. Whenever you’re boiling the kettle for tea, tidy up the kitchen. If the kitchen is tidy, tidy up the next room – it’s only 3 minutes but it keeps you on top of everything (helps if you have an Englishman’s obsession with Tea as well!)
8. Use the “one in, two out” rule. The rule: whenever you bring in an item, you have to throw away two other items. First you cheat, by throwing out two pieces of paper, but soon you will have to move to big stuff.
9. Make your storage space smaller and more minimal. If you have lots of storage, you’ll fill it with stuff.
10. Clothing rule: If you haven’t worn an item in 6 months, sell or donate it.
11. The One-Year Box. Take all your items that you unsure about getting rid of (e.g. “I might need this someday…”), put them in a box, seal it and date it for 1 year in the future. When the date comes, and you still didn’t need to open it to get anything, donate the box WITHOUT OPENING IT. You probably won’t even remember what there was in the box.
12. Declutter one room (including any closets, desks, cabinets, etc.) before starting on the next one. Spending time in that room will feel *so* good, and it will be so easy to keep clean, that it will motivate you to do more!
13. Keep a list in your planner labeled “Don’t Need It – Don’t Want It.” When you’re out shopping and run across some kind of gadget or other item you crave, note it down on the list. This will slow you down long enough to reconsider. Also, seeing the other things on the list that you nearly bought on impulse really helps.
14. Internalize that your value is not in your “stuff”. It is just “stuff”. And realize that your value grows when you share your “stuff”. Hoarding is a selfish act.
15. Have someone else (who you trust!) help you go through things. They don’t have the (sometime’s irrational) emotional attachment that you might have, but can still recognize if something should be kept.
16. Gift everything. Books you’ve read immediately get recycled among friends, family or local libraries. If you buy a new gaming system, donate your old one – and all the games.
17. This came from http://zenhabits.net/15-great-decluttering-tips/
18. I PLAN TO TRY TO START THIS If the kids let me have 1 Day to do so i need to get a new tub to pack winter jackets into and then a box and a bag 1 for throw away ,one for give away and one for garage sale :) i will let you know how i go xxxx

No Pocket MONEY instead TIME on Ipods or computerd Instead

So this is the Kids new charts for 2012 No pocket Money instead ipad ipod or computer or nintendo and tv time

WASH dry &put away dishes = 30 minutes
Set the table for dinner = 10 minutes
Feed the dogs /check dogs water = 15 minutes
Changing and cleaning bird food & water = 15 minutes
Clearing dishes from the table = 10 minutes
Wiping the table after dinner = 5 minutes
Vacuuming the kitchen = 15 minutes
Vacuuming under the table = 15 minutes
Vacuuming the lounge room = 30 minutes
Vacuuming the hallway = 10 minutes
Vacuuming the bedroom = 15 minutes per bedroom
Keeping room Tidy for a week= 30 minutes
Tidying up toys = 5 minutes
Tidying books = 5 minutes
Listening And doing as u Are told = 10 minutes
Folding a basket of washing = 30 minutes
Emptying Lunch bags and having bags re packed = 30 minutes

It starts TONIGHT :)
got the idea from www.simple savings.com.au

MY 2012 Goals

This years Goals

MORE Natural FOODS less packet FOODS

BUY OUR first HOUSE

sell LOTS OF STUFF

More family Quality TIME

Start dancing Again

Join zumba :)

Family walks or bike rides 1xweek

Start Scrap-booking again :)

Individual Time with each child on own

DATES with HUBBY

Well the last few months have been insane and Long and we still have a long road ahead BURt We are looking forward to 2012 and what it will bring We are gonna have all the kids in school as Q starts kindy taiy has been diagnosed with autism so hopefully she will start getting help next year with her education and Q has been diagnosed with adhd which we kinda had an incling that he was but we kinda didnt want to admit it :( But we are looking forward to treatment trial and seeing if that can help him we love our babies even with there challanges we will make it thru xx madi was in the xmas pagent and was soooo Cute lots of fun ....... Girls have concert for dancing coming up taiy is awsome at doing the worm forwards in hip hop and madi my lil acro dancer beautiful and looks like Q is a mix of heath ledger / justin Beiber hahah its gonna be an interesting year 2012 ........... Will post soon take care all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx