NIGHT OFF

Friday NIGHT  I left the house (yes you heard right) i left the house kid free !!!!!!!!

I went to dinner brassa bar and grill it was YUMMMMMY :)
I even Had ADULT CONVO with two other mums ,
I got to eat a meal slowly , have a drink and  i got to enjoy every mouthwatering bite , IT was truly divine

Then we went to the movies and watched the movie sisters it was pretty funny
i haven't laughed so hard in since FOREVER (kinda lame and sad i know )

so i hope i can go out again soon i love being at home with my baby But theres only so much wiggles and lalaas big loud band you can sing and dance to  and only so many gluten free snacks your little one can shove in your mouth and try to feed you hahahahahahahah
YUP mum life

Well I'm outta here
insaneomumma xxxxxx

Things i have learnt 
things are forever changing 
# This week my baby girl started Highschool wow where did that time go i miss my cute cheeky lil miss she growing up so fast in the blink of an eye . if i could go back in time No i would not change a thing she was my 2nd baby to grow in my tummy but my first born as my first is in heaven x 
changes 
if i could change anything i think i would have still followed my dreams 
picked up a hobby to learn x

kept in touch with friends from school better (i miss having connections with people that get me that know i wasn't always this Boring or lame )

fought a little harder for things 


Im a mum of 6 not a lot know this
I have two angels in heaven  i hope to one day meet
and my 4 little circus crazy gymnasts \ i really don't know where they got there super crazy flexibility and stuff from  i was fast at running back many moons a go , i played many sports netball, basketball ,jazz ballet ,ballet , karate , soccer , even body boarded in my teen years but i could never really do cartwheels or handstands yet my kids basically walked out of the womb doing these things hahaha ]  madi went thru a stage of kartwheeling instead of walking
zeb is 1 and does flips and ttys to stand on his toy horse like a vaulter , no fear at all he also dances as soon as he hears music he likes , he can twerk we have a tube vid from one day we caught him doing it hahahaha

My hair is colourful  i feel crazy on the inside so i let out my crazy in radiant out there colours  its just me 
i think ill be the granny with punk rock hair hahahaha 

I do not know what the future holds for me or any of my kids most days its just a sink or swim (or float) to keep going my body has breakdowns possibly my endometrioeus but who knows i hate drs i hate needles so some days I'm stuck hiding under pillows with extreme pain or my body has fought the pain so bad it just has no more get up and go 
i worry for the future that if it gets so bad how will i go how can i function x 

any way thats it for now i have a tired lil hub ready for bed and another child having a meltdown kicking of that he will not go to school tomorrow ohhh happy Days not  living with mental illness and disabilities  is so BLA it kinda does suck autism can be a complete AHOLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAve a happy weekend peeps 

Stampede PERTH 2013

IM  So SO SO very sore BUT its a full of memories Fun sore xxxxx
I still can not believe i did it i completed 5km stampede in 2 hours xxxxx pretty proud of my self pretty pround of my self and i had great team mates that kept me going even when i held them up cause i was NOT as super fit as them xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

life gives you lemons and Judgment what will you do

Life can be full of lemons ,
life can be full of tears from the sourness those lemons leave ,
 life is full of judgement
you are judged by other mothers
people passing by
even People in your church
people at sport
AND guess what Even By your self 1
I judge my self daily I'm most likely the worst judge of my self as the self doubt eats away at me
am i doing right by my kids
have i made correct choices '
why are my kids like this did i really do wrong by having them as i have created them and they are soooooooooo messed up :(
i have heard from so many around me even family that i don't create NORMAL children and they hope i don't have anymore

yup way to build me up NOT
i suffer depresion and yes my genes created my children to be different but How about instead of knocking me down and almost holding that gun to my head How about build me up help me keep fighting i have made it this far as i refuse to just give up but some days i really don't want to keep going as i feel alone ,JUDGED ,left to just die in the field .........................

this is how i feel

when you feel lost

When You feel lost
When you feel alone
No one to talk to when your upset ,
No one to wipe away the tears,
No one to hug you and tell you it will all be ok,
no one to hold your hand,
no one to cry with you tears of sadness or happiness
just a pillow and emptyness ,
a dark room
words of Hurt Words of heart break
In a world that is so cruel and nasty and so  judgmentle
where will i turn
where will i end up
how will i keep my feet standing still
keep my body upright
keep my tears locked up
and out of sight
NO ONE TO TURN TO

InsaneoMummy

Well HOWDY all
  Its been a fair while i know ,lots of crazy stuff has happened lots of amazing memories have been made and created :)

WE MOVED IN TO OUR FIRST FAMILY HOME :)   yeeeha im still un packing and yup its been since febuary haahha OOOOPS .........

I AM JUST a full time MUMMA bear NOW NOTHING ELSE just taxi to my kids cook cleaner nurse admin assistent hahahha :)

T HAS DONE GREAT winning comps for RDA horse riding AND euestrian vaulting xxxxxx that girl has no fear xxxxxxxx she also one some pretty ribbons from Gymnastics tooo OMGOSH i have become MUMMA crafty tring to make ribbon boards and stuff to keeep up ..
im soooo many years behind in my scrap booing im thinking of organising a night a week and seeing if any one else wants to scrap book with me...

we are making loads of changes as a family and im proud of who we are becoming and trying to become xxxxxxx\



we have a newfamily member YUP a very overweigh HE is now on a diet and walking two times a day hahahahahha will upload photos soooon .........

MY DREAM AND WANT FOR Another baby still is with me i think it will be for a long time BUT hubby said baby making days are over   i mean i supose he is about to hit 40 and im about to hit being 30 YIKES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are looking at fostering baby and toddlers he likes this idea better so praying all our boxes get ticks and that we might have a baby as soon as december to love and care for untill when ever needed xxxxxxx   im excited about having many babys and lil ones to love and nuture i really do LOVE BABYS ...............

well im off to bake a batch od dairy nut lacose free choc cupcakes for school lunches and prep tomorows Lunches and tonights dinner as it Gymnastics NIGHT so im in and out being TAxi MUMMA :)     have a great week or weeks i promis ill try to start blogging more xxxxxxxxxxxx

juggling to much crazy insane and a side of wacky

People often tell me well if you are tired and worn out stop taking on so much !!!!

THATS easy for them to say ...........
My weeks are crazy and mashed into a spare hour here or there Im a mummy to 3 very specail different children my eldest has a LOT of food alergies dustmites and so on she is having more testing as we kept things fairly good for 9 years and now her body is deciding to reject more foods and other stuff AS a very keen Gymnast who plans on reaching her goals to go to the olympics one day and trains super hard at the gym and at home Her health is super important ..........
child number 2
Well never really slept from birth onwards in nearly 8 and has a range of things    adhd ASD  Epilepsy And food alergies too we are in and out of playtherapy ,OT , PEADS, doctors, socailworkers ,more therapys and so on taiy dreams of also one day Competing in the olypics she says she wants to do specail olympics and normal she is very sporty very strong and very stuborn so i know she can make this happen if thats what she wants ..............
The boy in the family :)
Was such a lovely easy going baby and toddler food alergies YES .....
But not to much then as he got older he stoped talking for a while and as he got older become really agressive and angry at first we thort ohh its just testostrone hormones he will balance out soon :( sadly he was recently after turning 4 diagnosed with ODD we trieled some meads as well as we are on a strick additive free preservative free diet wich helps a lil bit We stoped the meads as it was not LIFE changing wow and are living day by day HE can be very loving and has a huge fan bas of kids that seem to adore him ...... BUT he can snap and scare the crap out of anyone i have had many injurys it sadness me to see him change we never know when its going to happen if someone talks to him wrong or upsets him or he is over tired so on and so on he snaps I worry about the future if we cant get it under control xxxxxxx we also believe he is asd as he is super bright super quirky and other stuff But getting him tested is going to be a long prosess like it took with my eldest ......(even though socail workers and people close to us can see he is on the spectrum xxxx

Any how im a mum a cook cleaner nurse and the list goes on ................................
life is full of Ups and downs nothing can be predicted Organised and catrised to how we like there is NO such thing as a PERFECT FAMILY ,PERFECT LIFE OR perfect Child every one has mistakes ups n downs and things hidden :) I try to put my crazieness out there to help others see that they DO  NOT NEED to pretend they are OK or PERFECT .............IM far from it Im crazy Insane and a touch of mental with a side of wacky BUT i love my children even when i rant .........................